Life is a confusing battle!

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Do we all have this constant battle? I know I do, you make a decision because it feels right, then your head says “No, wait!”

Oh my goodness, you can go around in circle for hours, days, weeks!
As I get older I let my heart win a little more, I feel as though I have less to lose. I’ve refrained from things that just don’t make logical sense, even if they feel right, not all of the time but probably 75%.

We moved to the US from England because it felt right, that was a biggie. Raising a child in a country we didn’t know so well. It worked out well, there were battles, but we have a strong, confident, successful daughter.

I didn’t quit work to be a full time author because my brain stopped me.
“You need to stay at work and earn money, keep your health insurance, save for your future.” I’m not sure if that was the right decision or not, but I don’t think I suffered from it.

Now I need to work on doing things my heart tells me to do. It’s telling me I should retire before my health suffers, it’s also telling me that the altitude of living in Colorado isn’t good for me. So I’m listening. In the not too distant future I’m retiring to Italy with my husband. We’ll enjoy the oxygen of living at sea level and the tranquility of village life. Good food, good wine and good folks.

Now my brain still struggles because my daughter lives in Colorado, but my heart knows she’s married to a good man and doesn’t need me anymore.

Maybe for once in my life my heart and brain are working together.

I hope so!

The Old Olive Mill in Colledimezzo

An old stone building in a quaint old village. From the moment I set eyes on it, I knew it was special. A building that had been restored with loving care. In years gone by, it produced olive oil. From now on, it’s going to produce happiness and lots of laughter.

It’s my new home in Italy and I can’t wait to share it with friends and family.

The Old Olive Mill in Colledimezzo!

Dance Like theres no Tomorrow!

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When I was in my late twenties, and a young mother, I had to live with my parents for a couple of months while I waited for the army to accommodate me. My husband was in the Falkland Islands and I had a young daughter. I was resentful at losing my independence and wasn’t the best house guest!

One day, when my dad was out playing golf, I heard music in the living room. It wasn’t the type of music mum, who was almost 70, usually listened to. I opened the door quietly and peeped in to see what was going on. What I saw took my breath away and put a huge smile on my face.

My mum was jumping around the living room, swiveling her hips, shaking her arms and dancing as though her life depended on it. She had her back to me and never saw me watching her. Closing the door quietly I want to my little bedroom at the back of the house and left her to dance.

When I’m feeling down I remember that moment. My mum died over ten years ago, and I’m in my early sixties, but I’m going to live life like there’s no tomorrow and dance as long as I can.

 

Poor Old Girl reaches 60

Yes, that would be me! It seems like my 21st Birthday was yesterday. I lived in Blandford Dorset, newly married, life was new and exciting. My husband baked me a coconut cake while I was at work. He prepared it during his morning NAAFI break, put it in a cake tin, then went home and cooked it during his lunch break. Bless him! It was delicious.

My next big Birthday was 40! We lived in Parker Colorado. We’d only lived in the U.S. for two years, life was exciting. My husband took me to a great Italian restaurant called Pasta’s. It was wonderful!

Now here I am, SIXTY! I live in Franktown, Colorado. Love my home! Life is still exciting. My daughter and her husband took us to “The Old Stone Church” in Castle Rock. We drank champagne and had a lovely evening.

Not sure when my next big Birthday is…..maybe it will be when I hit 100!  I can tell you one thing for sure though, life will  still be exciting!birthday

Wotunny?

Grandma!

Wotunny?

I love you Grandma!

I love you too!

Wotunny is of course “what honey?”

My mum was born and raised in the North of England, and although not quite a Geordie, she was close. I used to make fun of her accent, but I miss it so much. She’d play tirelessly with my daughter when she was a little girl. They’d sit in their make-believe airplane (under the table) and pretend they were flying to Barbados. My mum was in her eighties at the time. It couldn’t have been comfortable sitting on the floor. She didn’t have much padding on her bones as she got older. I’d prepare dinner and smile as I listened to them talk.

Grandma!

Wotunny?

I love you!

I love you too pet!

Miss you mum!

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Kick Back and enjoy the View!

I was going to say life is a marathon, but really it’s not is it, its more of a scavenger hunt. We rush from one event to another. We’re born, we reach that magical age, we leave school, learn to drive, graduate college, get engaged, get married, have children, they get married, have children and so it goes on.

All the major events in our life are very special, but so is what lies in between. Sometimes we forget this.

My beautiful daughter and her husband are spending the day with us today, I think its time to kick back, relax and enjoy the viewDSC00324

Happy Christmas Eve

DSC04085I woke up this morning feeling a little sad. It’s the first Christmas in thirty years I’ve spent without my daughter. I must admit, I shed a tear. She’s all grown up and married now, so we have to share Christmas and Thanksgiving. The first one is tough, but maybe it’ll get easier.

Having no other family in the US, and no close family even in England, it means the Christmas table will be set only for two. My husband and I! First time in 38 years we’ve been alone together for Christmas. I’ll let you know how that works out!

In the meantime, have a wonderful Christmas everyone, from my quiet home in Colorado, to your home wherever it may be!

Winter creeps in!

It’s not quite winter yet, but it will be soon. I woke up to a frost this morning! first-frost2On my drive home from work tonight I passed a house adorned with Christmas lights. It looked magnificent, but it’s only November 9th. We’ve just got through Halloween, Thanksgiving is just around the corner, but Christmas…..

Winter crept up on me this year!

I suppose it’s not such a bad thing. I had a wonderful summer. Memories of Italy are still fresh in my mind.

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I look to Thanksgiving with happy anticipation because it’s a time to gather family and friends together. This year in Vail. Snow and a steaming hot tub. What could be better?

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Yes winter crept up on me this year, and I’m going to enjoy it!

Stepfather – a Father’s Day Wish to You!

Looking up to you Dad, and hope you’re looking down on me with that funny smile on your upside down lips!

Your took on a teenager when you married my mum. A teenager who’d never known a father. You were an impostor in my eyes. The more you tried to make me like you, the more I rebelled. You never gave up though!

You’ve been gone a long time, and my mum is with you now.

I hope you’re both happy, I miss you. Dad, I loved you all the time, I was just too rebellious to show it!

My Stepfather with my daughter - Happy Fathers Day. I do miss you!

My Stepfather with my daughter – Happy Fathers Day. I do miss you!

Happy Mothers Day Mam – I know you’re watching over me.

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A very long time ago, but really only yesterday, I was a child,

You watched over me mam,

I was a teenage rebel, if there was trouble, I found it,

But you watched over me mam.

You raised me single-handedly when you fled the violent man who hurt you,

You watched over me mam,

You found a good man to love us both, we survived, and thrived,

You watched over me mam.

And now I live in a different country, far away, with a family of my own, and a grown up daughter,

I watch over her mam,

There’s a chair on my porch, and I sit there and talk to you, I know you hear me,

Because you’re still watching over me mam.

Happy Mothers Day – I love you. You’re in heaven now, but I don’t miss you because you’re here watching over me Mam!

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